The Steve Miller Band

There I was, no shit; 1980 and I was to spend six weeks on the Island of New Zealand training with Delta Forces and the SAS.  We flew non-stop, I think there were three air refuelings and HALOed in from 18,000 feet.  Our target was a SAS Shooting Range and upon landing we went immediately through a shooting course to test our abilities after such a long flight. From there it was time for a little Jungle Warfare.  Now I know why they call it the Rain Forest.  Does it ever stop raining?  I don’t think so, or the mosquitoes and spiders wouldn’t grow so big.  The forest became my home and once I finally became totally water logged, they said I was trained and it was time to go on a mission. They put all us Delta, SAS, and CCT (the hill) together; and plans were made to conquer a hostile country.  Teams were divided up to take out high priority targets spread throughout the country.  We would infiltrate by different means and take out our targets according to the time table.  My infiltration was by the worst low level vomit route I have ever encountered.  We thought the plane crashed a couple of times, but found out later it had only bounce off some hill tops.  We finally static line in and I was never so happy to get out of an airplane in my life.   It was raining to beat all, but I was back in my element.  I stayed wet for another couple of days, while we hiked over a few mountains to our target, a radio station on top of another mountain.  I wish those darned farmers over there used barb wire; I found the electric fences to be quite exciting.  Anyway, we took our target down like clock work.  The weather was so miserable, the bad guys had taken cover and were not prepared for an assault.  They never knew what hit them. We blew the station and exfiltrated for a helicopter extraction.  Mission Successful!

Other teams weren’t so lucky.  Many objectives were in populated areas and the locals were considered friendly.  One team was to take down an electrical facility, powered by a dam.  Some were to infiltrate as tourists visiting the site.  All was going well, until one of these gentlemen accidentally dropped a weapon while in a group of locals and guards.  The mission was compromised and all hell broke loose.  A fire fight ensued, with forces appearing from the surrounding jungles, automatic weapons a blazing.  It was a small force, but they had fire superiority and recovered their man amidst the turmoil.  

Some butts got chewed in the After Mission Brief, and I couldn’t help but laugh, even though it wasn’t funny.  Those poor friendly locals had no clue about the military exercise and did not realize all the bullets and bombs were only training devices and were diving for cover.  They were scrambling for their lives in this sleepy little village, where most had never even seen a weapon.   Police and media converged on the little village to stop the invaders, but they had disappeared.

You should have seen the news coverage on TV that night.  Yes, they finally put me in some barracks, so I could dry out.  I think they’re still investigating this incident and if you ever happen through this small village, you’ll be sure to hear about the day, no body knows what happened!
We needed to disappear, so we headed to New Zealand’s South Island.  We spent two weeks mountain and glacier climbing while getting in some winter survival training, too.  Those winter storms come up very quick in the mountains.  Mount Cook is one of the most beautiful areas I’ve ever been.  It’s also a tourist resort and they didn’t have any barracks there.  When I wasn’t living on the mountain, I actually had a really nice room and great chow.  

We returned to the main island once the news of whatever happened to that small village had toned down.  CCT’s mission was complete, but Delta had some other Top Secret Stuff to get involved in and we weren’t invited.  We now had two weeks of sluff time and Wayne Norrad needed to come up with a plan.

Damn Wayne’s Good!  He points out that our SCUBA qualifications required updating and we should pack up and leave for Hawaii!  Made sense to me and since the Delta Group would be stopping over in Hawaii on the way back to the states, justification was made and we headed for Hawaii!

I was finally being treated as I should.  I had a Nice Hotel Room, a Charted SCUBA Boat, and I was in Hawaii!  On the last day of diving, the skipper asked that a few civilians come along and promised to keep them out of our way.  Who are we to complain, the skipper was a good guy and we weren’t up to any secret stuff.  He mentioned a couple of women and Wayne told him to bring them on board.

Things get kind of funny here and it’s also the reason I wrote this story.  Once we shoved off, we find out our guests are Steve Miller, from the Steve Miller Band, his wife, manager and manager’s girlfriend.   I’m going to say Steve, was really a nice guy, but his manager had a little attitude.  His ego was as big as our’s, but he was fun to play with.

We all drop trunks and bend over for the camera.  The skipper snaps away and we all have a good laugh.  Once Steve got back on board, Wayne pointed out his error and told him we took a couple pictures.  He thanked Wayne, thinking they were pictures of him in the water.  He really was a nice guy.

Once we got back to the dock, Steve thanked us for treating him like a regular Joe, and said he enjoyed meeting all of us.  Dave Lillico gave Steve his address and asked that he might send some pictures, if he had an itch.  We all laughed later about how his next album should be called, “The Moon!”

Would you believe that weeks later; Steve sent Dave enough of his Abracadabra Albums for each of us to have one.  Each album was personally signed and I still own a turntable to play it.

We worked our butt’s off, but in the end, it was our butt’s that got noticed.  Thanks for the memories and the laughs Wayne, Your Teammate; Shithead!

As I remember it was Wayne Norrad, Dave Lillico, Fran Oster, Steve “LittleFellow” Phillips, and Mike McReynolds; Steve Miller, kept the picture!